How To Overcome Sexual Anxiety? 7 Effective Methods

Published on December 15th, 2022

Last updated on March 7th, 2023

Does your body look tempting enough? Can you give your partner pleasure? Can you reach orgasm and so on? How to overcome sexual anxiety? As a rule, these questions come up at the most unsuitable moment. And they can completely “turn off” sexual function. Increased anxiety about sex is characteristic of people exposed to various social phobias. Many believe that fear is always associated with severe psychological traumas. Especially if it is something created for pleasure, this is not entirely true. Anxiety about sex can provoke even too early an introduction to sexuality.

“I’ve got a plan for the week, I’ve got those calls answered, and I’ve got to remember to prepare for tomorrow’s meeting. Oh, did I look silly today when I joked around with the barista? He probably thought I was weird.” It’s time to change if a thousand other thoughts run around your head before you go to bed and during sex. It’s anxiety that’s interfering with the quality of your life.

We will tell you about the causes of sexual anxieties and their “symptoms”. And we will explain how to overcome the fear and why only a doctor can help.

How To Cope With Sexual Anxiety?

How do you get rid of anxiety, especially for someone with a conditionally healthy psyche who can’t switch from everyday things to the process of having sex and enjoying it? It is imperative to know the answer to this difficult question. In the future, it will help you solve many of your problems. There are several effective ways to overcome sexual anxiety. 

1. Meditate

We recommend taking up meditative practices and trying them out on yourself for a few weeks. For example, use the mindfulness meditation technique. This meditation helps you focus on what you are doing right now. For example, you brush your teeth automatically and may not even remember this action. Or you can devote just two minutes of your attention to this activity and do it consciously.

This meditation is the skill of immersing yourself in what you’re doing: 

  • brushing your teeth;
  • focus on your gums;
  • the toothbrush itself;
  • the taste of the toothpaste. 

That is, fully feel the process you are engaged in right now. It will make sexual nervousness weaker. If you’re washing dishes, you must consciously wash at least a few plates, immersed in what you’re doing. Be in what you’re doing right now with your thoughts and feelings. It’s not always easy to get this skill, but it’s essential, given that we constantly multitask.

Body Scan meditations are also beneficial. You can find convenient meditations in any format on the internet. It’s a practice that helps you focus on the sensations in your body. Just as we do in sex, giving ourselves to the process and living that moment.

2. Take A Course Of Vitamins

Your body may be anxious due to a lack of important micronutrients. To replenish them quickly, try using liquid supplements. They’re swift and high quality to get into your body. They deliver maximum benefits quickly thanks to their liquid form and new formula. Your mood will increase with a properly functioning body, and your sexual anxiety will disappear.

3. Explore Yourself

It is crucial to know your body well. In this case, we are talking about the anatomy of your genitals and how they function. It is also significant to understand what happens during sexual intercourse. You have to consider both physical and psychological factors.

Reading or studying the subject helps to reduce fears.

4. Improve The Erotic Component

Sexuality is much more than the sex act. You shouldn’t have anxiety about it. That’s why you need to give importance to everything that contributes to eroticism. It includes caresses, kisses, massages, and all other erotic displays.

Explore what relaxes you. Everyone is different, and there are no rules in sexuality except those set by the couple. In this sense, knowing what environment is comfortable for you during sex is helpful. For example, the level of light in which you both feel comfortable, the time, the place, etc.

5. Remove The Blockage Of Tactility

You can regularly go for a relaxing massage to overcome sexual anxiety. That way, you can feel the beauty of touch. And you’ll also realize that touching other people is entirely safe. You can also attend couples’ dances and cuddle more with loved ones or children.

6. Find Your Triggers 

It is essential to determine the real reason for their occurrence. If a person finds the trigger in time, they can return to a normal sex life guaranteed. Accept that sex is the basis of creation. A new life is born thanks to it, and there is an energy exchange between people. Sex brings physiological pleasure.

7. Love Your Body

The more enjoyment you experience from your naked body, the less you worry about what happens in bed. Realize that your body is unique. You have to love and respect your body. It helps to love your body to have frequent sex.  Try practicing in front of a mirror. They can help you overcome sexual anxiety disorder.

Sexual Anxiety: What It Is And How Dangerous It Is?

a woman is having sexual anxiety

Genophobia is an anxiety disorder. It is a physical or psychological fear of intimacy and sexual intercourse.

Many people today experience sexual anxiety. Although genophobia is an acquired disorder, there is an innate genetic predisposition. More often than not, anxiety is a symptom of our constant multitasking. It indicates that the brain cannot escape the flood of thoughts and constant stress. It just doesn’t rest. But sexual anxieties come in many forms. It’s worth distinguishing between restless thoughts due to an overload of your mind and a real disorder. If a person has a lot of anxiety in life for various reasons:

  • Health;
  • Safety;
  • Appearance.

It can be one of the criteria for anxiety disorders, which is worth seeing a psychotherapist with. Only he will individually find your weaknesses and help you deal with them.

Why Is It Dangerous And Harmful To Feel Sexual Nervousness?

First, you won’t enjoy sex nor notice the onset of orgasm (or even not have it at all). You just won’t be immersed in the process. And at the most, you constantly lose a massive amount of energy and resources. When you give them constant thoughts. Instead of a rush of endorphins and oxytocin, you are on a daily dose of cortisol.

Yes, anxious people, without realizing it, constantly get a considerable quantity of cortisol (stress hormone). It changes into chronic problems with sleep, health, and complexes during sex. As a result, you and your partner do not like your sex. Because he or she feels your anxiety about sexuality and adopts it.

What Are The Causes Of Sexual Anxiety?

a woman is in fear

Sexual anxiety disorder can be the result of a traumatic experience. Sexual abuse happens more often than people think. It occurs partly because many victims keep quiet. On the other hand, it is a taboo subject that has always been hidden because no one wanted to report it.

When someone is abused at a very young age, they usually have very few resources to manage their emotions. So, the experience can leave deep scars and side effects. That won’t be easy to deal with in the future.

Sometimes the situation is not so extreme. So, sexual anxiety comes from other sources. In almost all of them, the common element is prohibition. Here are a few examples.

  • A strict upbringing that condemns sex. Many ideological and religious approaches condemn sexual practices. They make sex seem despicable, dirty, or immoral. People with such an upbringing need to work hard. They have to discover the beautiful and pleasurable facets of sexuality;
  • Lack of information. Lethargy and sexual nervousness sometimes arise from a lack of information about a person’s sexual development. For such people, sex is an unknown world they prefer to avoid;
  • Fear of failure. Fear of not getting a “good” result because of lack of experience and knowledge. We all have our definition of a “good” result and the unrealistic expectations associated with it. Often, it also leads to sexual anxiety;
  • Other factors can affect, such as:
  1. depression;
  2. low self-esteem;
  3. difficulty accepting one’s own body.

Unresolved conflicts and lost trust increase anxiety.

In many cases, sexual anxieties lead to sexual dysfunction:

  • decreased desire;
  • difficulty with arousal;
  • premature ejaculation;
  • pain during intercourse. 

These impoverish a couple’s sex life and relationship if not dealt with.

Bottom Line

It is worth slowing down and listening to yourself to deal with the hundred thoughts in your head and the constant sexual nervousness. Start by meditating, and you’ll notice that your quality of life will improve, and you’ll become much calmer. After all, learning how to control your thoughts and focus on how you feel is essential.


When is it worth seeing a psychotherapist for sexual anxiety?

If we are talking about deep psychological trauma, especially related to violence, it is better not to self-medicate and to work with a specialist. After therapy, you will take your life to a new level and be able to enjoy sex.

Who to talk to about sexual anxiety?

Many people find it easier to talk about sex with friends than with a partner. There’s nothing wrong with that, but remember that friends aren’t always the best advisors. Yes, they can say something sensible, but other people’s experiences often reinforce fears. Discuss difficult topics only with non-toxic people who know how to accept another’s point of view without criticizing, accusing, or skewing to one side or the other.

What is another reason there for sexual anxiety disorder in girls?

If we are talking about a woman, there is an issue with the image of the father in one way or another. When she loses her trust in the central male figure in life, the woman loses her global faith in all men. We are confronted with the basic story of interpersonal relationships: the fear of being absorbed or destroyed.

What is the key to overcoming sexual anxiety?

Talk more with your partner. The more you talk, the stronger the physical and emotional bond between you will be, and the less cause for anxiety. Each partner will be more comfortable if he can directly tell the other what he likes or dislikes and what they want or does not want in bed.

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